Opinion, Satire

Matt Hancock: “F*ck them kids.”

Health secretary Matt Hancock says ‘F*ck them kids,’ but which ones is he talking about?  

Could he be referring to his own three children, who, even prior to his affair with aide Gina Coladangelo, knew what a slimy man he was? 

Maybe he is referring to Gina Coladangelo’s three children, who will be scarred from seeing the CCTV image of a man’s claws on their mother?  

Or perhaps he is referring to the white, working class-children who are under-performing in school due to the utterance of the term ‘white privilege,’ rather than over a decade of austerity measures introduced by the Tories.

Could it be the clinically extremely vulnerable (CEV) children who were told to shield at home through the pandemic that have been forgotten by the Health Secretary?

Or perhaps Hancock is referring to the population of overgrown children, also known as UoL students. They are the unfortunate victims in a game of chase between university mismanagement and staff members facing the sack

It seems that the answer to the question is all of them


Image generated using imgflip


Zainab Patel is a second-year Medical Physiology Student from Leicester. She has a passion for all things science and technology, crime novels and plants. Find her on Twitter: @zainabbpatell or Instagram: @zainabb_patell