Satire

Students can move to online learning if they are dying

Leicester students have been informed that they can move to online learning, but only if they are dying.

Blended learning was brought in by the University last year to deliver flexible learning, which meant that students could learn online or online.

This flexibility has continued into this current academic year with the University’s latest take on blended learning.

“We have generously provided the option of studying remotely for those who need it, providing an opportunity to show how important the well-being of students is to us” stated a member of the University’s Executive board.

“This option will only be available to those who can prove they have six months or less to live, making this an exceedingly generous policy, we’re sure you’ll agree.

“As a University, we are taking steps to toughen up this snowflake generation before they enter the real world.

“Last year all they did was complain, crying like little babies over the rent strike, and now they come back crying over blended learning? What next? Where will it stop?!”

The Students’ Union was contacted for a response to this development, but they did not reply – it turned out that they were too busy filming promotional videos for the University to bother sending a response.


Toby Cray is a final-year journalism student and the magazine’s Vice President. You can find him on Twitter here.

You can find more of Toby’s satirical work here.